Savez-vous d’ou vient le jeu “ne-pas-marcher-sur-les-cracks-dans-le-trottoir”??
Du celle (en l’occurence, MOI!) qui marchait tout bonnement avec ses nouveaux souliers talons aiguilles tres tendances….et qui se retrouva quelques pouces plus loin avec un seul soulier!!!
Car l’autre est reste pris le talon dans la crack!!
Funny!!
Le courage,
C’est rentrer saoul au milieu de la nuit,de voir ta femme qui t’attend avec un balai en main et lui demander :
t’es encore en train de nettoyer ou tu t’envoles quelque part ?
Le culot,
C’est rentrer saoul au milieu de la nuit, entouré d’un nuage de parfum,du rouge à lèvres sur les vêtements, de voir ta femme qui t’attend avec un balai en main, lui taper une fesse et dire : t’énerve pas, c’est ton tour.
As I was wasting my lunchtime on the Internet, I found this:
http://www.swmoore.com/kt_fruitsandvegetables.html
Have fun!
Someone sent this to me, and I’m still laughing!!….:)))
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.
I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from “Aunt Flo”. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.
In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.” Are you fucking kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”, or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep…
Always. Best,
Wendi Aarons Austin, TX
Voici un petit test, afin de valider si vous avez le meme thinking qu’un enfant!!
1) Comment fait-on pour mettre un elephant dans un refrigerateur?
R: on ouvre la porte, on rentre l’elephant, on ferme la porte. (et oui…aussi simple que ca!!)
2) Comment fait-on pour mettre une girafe dans un refrigerateur?
R: On ouvre la porte, on sort l’elephant, on rentre la girafe, on ferme la porte. (Allez, y faut de la suite dans les idees!!)
3) Le lion, roi de la jungle, fait une conference avec tous les animaux de la jungle, sauf un, lequel?
R: la girafe, elle est dans le refrigerateur (non, mais vous avez la memoire courte!!)
4) Vous devez traverser une riviere ou habitent des crocodiles. Que faites-vous?
R: Vous pouvez la traverser sans probleme, car les crocodiles sont a la conference de la jungle que le lion a organisee. (Definitivement, vous n’apprenez pas de vos erreurs!!!)
By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started and never finished.”
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning,
Une de mes preferees. Merci Marie de me l’avoir un jour racontee!!
In a foreign country, a bear was running after a rabbit. As the rabbit was trying to escape from the bear, he fell on a bottle and a genie came out.
GENIE: “Now that you have woke me up, I will grant you three wishes. So, starting by you, Mister the bear, what is your first wish?”
M.BEAR: “Well, there is not enough female on my territory. My first wish is that all the bear in my territory become females”, he says in an exciting way.
And his wish is granted.
GENIE: “And you little rabbit, what is your first wish?”
LITTLE RABBIT: “Well, what I have always dreamed of is a motorcycle, a little motorcycle to fit my size, and if possible, I would like it to be red”.
M.BEAR: “How stupid you can be! Is it really your wish?” says the bear and thinking that rabbits are the stupidest animals on earth.
LITTLE RABBIT: “It’s my wish and I can wish what I want!”
And his wish is granted.
GENIE: “ What do you want for your second wish?” says the genie and looking at the bear.
After a little moment of thinking, the bear goes:
M.BEAR: “I think that I would be bored of all the same females on my territory. So, my second wish is that all the bear in my country become females.”
And again, his wish is granted.
GENIE: “And you?” says the genie to the rabbit.
LITTLE RABBIT: “Well, if I want to ride safely, I would like a little motorcycle hat, red also, and with some holes for my long ears.”
M.BEAR: “WHAT? A hat? You can get whatever you want and you ask a hat!!! Why not gloves by the way?” says the bear to the rabbit laughing of his funny, and here again, stupid wishes.
And the rabbit’s wish is granted.
GENIE: “Finally, what is your last wish Mister the bear?”
M.BEAR: “Well”, goes the bear, “I think that I want more females. So, my last wish is that all the bears in the world become females.”
And, his last wish is exhausted.
GENIE: “And, what can I do for your last wish little rabbit?”
Putting his hat on his head, tying it up, sitting on his motorcycle, and starting it, the rabbit goes: “I wish that the bear is gay!”